I’m no pretty-handwriting-in-a-pretty-journal-while-sipping-tea writer.* I like coffee in big mugs that make a statement on the side, and I use 70-sheet, one-subject, twenty-notebooks-for-a-dollar spiral-bound notebooks. And I eat pretty stationery for breakfast. (Okay, not really.)
Christmas 2005, an acquaintance gave me a lovely journal. It had an iris on the cover, and music notes, and gold writing. It wasn’t my thing, but it was too pretty to give away. So when I felt the need to do something different, that journal was near at hand.
On 1/15/06 I wrote inside the front cover the date and the title: Dreams to Truth Journal (Yes, I felt the need to write that it was a journal.) Below that, I wrote Because I am an excellent writer and I deserve to be published.
I needed to say that, to tell myself that. I felt stagnant. Stuck. Another vacation had slipped by without my accomplishing anything I meant to do. I needed accountability. I needed to write it down. The goal was some progress recorded every day. Every single day–I felt I’d waited long enough to get my butt moving.
My entries ranged from the simple (Chapter One sent to B. 3,032 words) to the simpler: (3/13/06 Nothing.) to nine pages of ranting, rambling, and notes in five different colors of ink on seven different stories spanning three universes.
Looking back, I’m amused at the variation. Nutrition notes. (Broccoli is good. Yum.) Craft reminders. (Different books make different promises, and you have to be aware and keep that promise.) Affirmations. (I am so loving this book. It’s not just Hiro. It’s the whole world. I do think it’s pretty damned good. With work it’ll be fantabulous.) Here is a drawing of a dove. There is a line of a song that caught my ear. On this page, a lot of underlined cursing out my landlord as water drips through the roof making it impossible to work. Here’s a list of nasty and nice creatures from various folklore traditions.
There’s a lot of “my head hurts” and “where did my flipping day go?” and not nearly enough “Ooh, I got it!” but here’s the most important thing: it keeps going. 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010. The second volume (because apparently a pretty journal is the present to give that writer in your life) begins with the date 7/18/2010. Here’s some of the entry:
Turtleduck Press is getting more real as we all buckle down to the work to be done. I’ll write the mission statement today. Poke the forums and see where we stand.
I am so excited. I’m terrified that I’ll screw up somehow, but I keep remembering what I tell the young’uns–it’s really hard to actually screw your life up beyond repair.
This is it. People I don’t know will read my stuff. People who don’t know me will hopefully buy my stuff. I can get it out there.
I am by turns happy and terrified just by that. This is, to quote the vice-pres, “a big f*cking deal.”
Now, six months later, you know what? It really is. It’s a huge deal for me. People are reading my stories. It’s a dream come true.
The journal goes on, as does the work. His Faithful Squire will be released in August.
I can’t wait.
*No offense if you are this writer, or use your pretty journal while riding bulls rather than sipping tea. Or even if you sip tea while riding bulls, and later chip your words into a stone tablet. We all have our little ways.