Last weekend, a man walked into a crowded food court here in Toronto and pulled out a gun. He had a target, who was killed. Six others were hurt, many others traumatized.
Here’s the part that makes it really scary for me. I go to that mall, Eaton Centre, at least once a month. I’ve eaten in that very food court many times. It’s not going to look the same to me anymore.
I don’t know about you, but when I hear about violence in my city, I rationalize. That was a gang killing, or a bad area of town, or an argument at 3 AM outside a club. I know better than that. It wouldn’t happen to me.
Except…it could.
In Seattle last week, a man opened fire in a café near the university, killing four people and a fifth later. In Toronto three years ago, someone randomly pushed a couple of teenagers onto the subway tracks and they narrowly escaped with their lives. The people in the food court were just eating dinner. None of them were breaking any of the “rules” that are supposed to keep people safe.
At the same time, Toronto has a pretty low rate of violent crime, and as everyone says, you can’t live your life in fear.
So I take the subway every day – but I’m just a little more aware of who is walking behind me. I go out alone at night – but, like any woman, I keep an eye on my surroundings. I give a wide berth to people who look “off” somehow.
Is that fear? It’s certainly caution, and I hate that I have to be cautious in my daily life. I hate that I can’t give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I hate that I judge people by how they look when I’m calculating my level of safety. Events like these have changed the way the world looks to me, and I resent them for doing so.
I’ll eat at the food court again in the future. The memory of the news story will fade to become part of the background hum of my mind. I’ll strike a balance between caution and living, as always…and wish that the balance weren’t necessary.
How do you react to violence in the news that breaks the “rules”? What balance have you found?
We’re hearing a lot of reports of crime happening very close to home, too. 🙁 I recently read a first person account of a botched kidnapping, and it happened in a mall my husband and I frequently visit.
Like you, I’ve rationalized such events, too–but in this case, it wasn’t late at night or some secluded spot. It was a Sunday afternoon. She was unloading groceries into her car. Two men forced her (at knife point) into her car and drove off. She managed to flee by fighting off her kidnappers when the car finally slowed down at the parking machine just before leaving the carp park. 🙁
I think you’re right: no one should live in constant fear, but we have to be cautious. We might not like it… but, between losing a loved one to a senseless crime and having them safe, I’d pick the latter.
I live in Seattle, close enough to where the shooting occurred that my kid’s school was in lockdown that afternoon. Talk about bringing things too close to home. The cafe hosts a weekly jazz jam on Sunday nights, and there was talk of cancelling last Sunday, but they decided to go ahead with it, just play in the alley out back. I was glad they didn’t let fear and sadness stop the music.
“I hate that I judge people by how they look when I’m calculating my level of safety.” I have felt that way too, but it is natural to want to protect yourself and those you love and sometimes the way a person looks is all we have to go on. A crime-free world sure would be nice but since that isn’t what we have, we need to make choices that in a perfect world we may not make.
Scribbles, that’s a horrible story, but I like the distinction you’ve drawn between caution and fear.
Liv, good for them. I’m sure that was an emotional jam session for everyone. Glad your kid was okay!
Sara, “we need to make choices that in a perfect world we may not make”…good point, and you may have just brought into focus a key struggle in my novel WIP. Thanks! 😉
Siri