I am a creature of habit, and I tend to not do so well with changes, even positive ones. But I am also a firm believer in making your own destiny, so sometimes those two ideas collide.
Like right now. I’m embarking on a huge life change. It’s scary, it’s crazy, it’s the unknown. But the basis of this is wanting to change my life, wanting to better myself. Not being a victim of circumstance. Unfortunately, that’s what my life has turned into — things keep happening and I react as best I can…but I’ve been feeling emotionally drained by it all. And I have to put the blame where it belongs — on myself for making the choices I’ve made.
None of these choices were bad choices per se. I’d been in some difficult situations and at the time, the choice I made was the best one. But now that I’m older and wiser, I’m starting to realize that things don’t have to stay the same. I can change my life, change my destiny.
So, hence, the big life change I’m contemplating. What scares me the most is that it’s not familiar. I’ve become accustomed to a routine, so much that even considering changing something about it makes me anxious. I mean, while the status quo is familiar, it’s not right for me anymore. I need to go beyond the easy, beyond the surface. I need to find out who I really am. I know I am strong enough. I know I can do this. But when it comes down to changing or not, what side will I choose?
I want to choose change. I want to change my life. I want to be able to soar higher than I ever have. I want to be able to say I survived. I changed my life, no one else did. And it’s so much better for it.
But there’s fear and worry and negativity. A lot of the things involved with this are completely out of my control, and that’s a really tough place to be. But I have to try, because if I don’t, I will regret it forever.
So I will try to embrace change instead of the alternative. I will determine my own destiny. And I will be stronger for it.
What changes are scary for you? What side would you choose?