Last Traditions Standing

I have a very dear and marvelous friend whom I invite for Thanksgiving very early each year–like, in February if not sooner. I always want to get that invitation in early so she can truthfully say “oh, I have a prior invitation!” when asked to celebrations that make her uncomfortable.

This year, the invitation went out before we found out that my dear friend has some special dietary needs she is just figuring out. And, also a surprise to me, now she has a new-to-the-city roommate, who also has special dietary needs. The list of things the two need to avoid is rather daunting.

Know what, though? I don’t really care.

It’s not like most of the traditions matter to me. I haven’t even celebrated Thanksgiving consistently. For years after I was out on my own, it was just another day. Then I’d buy a turkey, but make it any day but Thanksgiving. Then I’d have a feast on T-day, but it might be Chinese food or meatloaf or something. Slowly we moved towards a more traditional feast, but still the stress of Everything Must Be Right At Exactly the Right Time was forbidden. If the turkey was done before the potatoes, fine. If everyone got hungry and made snacks before the feast then they weren’t hungry when it was time to come to the table, no big.

That’s the one tradition we don’t waver on, the one we won’t be losing. I once spent Thanksgiving with a couple who stayed up until 2 in the morning planning the menu, and then got up at 6 to start cooking. By the time we sat down to eat, there was a table full of EXCELLENT food and two hosts who couldn’t manage three civil words to each other.

That was not a good feast.

So as I asked my friend to tell the new friend we haven’t met yet–be prepared. The only tradition we care about on Thanksgiving is the one where dear friends/family get together. Five people and four chairs? We’ll work it out. Gluten-free? We’ll do it. Twenty-seven different allergen foods? We’ll work around them somehow. If we can’t make a turkey feast work, we’ll do chili and corn bread. Or sweet-and-sour chicken. Or six different kinds of fruit roll-ups. If we all have to sit together and drink water of varying degrees, we’ll do it.

It’s the together part that matters, not any of the rest.

Whether it’s Thanksgiving for you on Thursday or not, I hope you have a wonderful day filled with just enough of just the right humans and other people that you love.

 

One Comment:

  1. That’s what It’s all about to me — spending the day with people you love. 🙂

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