Back to the Grind

Well, my musical is over. We closed on Sunday. It was generally a good experience (there were some logistical issues not directly related to the show that I shall not bore you with) and the show went well and was well received.

And I did learn my sign language “solo”–in case you were wondering–and only sort of messed it up one night but not bad enough that I think anyone other than me would have noticed.

And now the whole thing’s over. (Aside from the fact that I keep singing the songs because they’re literally all I’ve listened to in weeks and now are eternally stuck in my head.) And yet…I don’t miss it.

When I used to do theater back in high school, the closing of a show was the worst. We’d have an overnight cast party, and everyone would stagger off, back to normality, and it was terrible. I was also so bereft when yet another show ended, when I didn’t have rehearsal to look forward to, when it was weeks before we’d start the next one.

And I thought I’d feel that again. It’s like finishing a novel draft. You put so much into something, and then, suddenly, it’s gone, and all that energy has nowhere to go, and for a while it feels like you have no purpose anymore.

But I don’t feel that. I don’t feel that at all. I had a good time, sure, and I put a lot of time and effort into learning the show and the music and the sign language, etc., but aside from being vaguely hopeful that I might also get to be in the next show, whenever and whatever it is, everything else feels normal, except now I get my Wednesdays and Saturdays and Sundays back.

I have a running list of reasons for the lack of distress:

• It was a huge cast, and maybe I didn’t get as close to people as I have on previous shows because I didn’t interact with everyone on a regular basis
• In high school we used to have rehearsal every day, whereas here we had rehearsal three days a week, and maybe by the end of the week when I haven’t gotten to see anyone I shall be sad
• Priority change: in high school, I lived and breathed theater–I did all the extracurriculars, from improv teams to one-act play festivals, I ate lunch there, I hung out with my friends there, etc. Now I have kids and other hobbies and other responsibilities, so the hole caused by the loss of the show isn’t as big or as noticeable.

I’m leaning towards the last one, because, in retrospect, the last few book drafts haven’t caused the huge despondency I used to get either.

Har har, apparently diversification is good for more than just your stock portfolio!

Anyway, a good time was mostly had by all, the cast didn’t mess anything up (::coughtechcough::) during the shows, no one fell off the stage or broke the set or got seriously injured, and aside from eating too much, the cast party went fine. I’d do it again, if they’ll have me.