So, as you may or may not know, I was recently laid off from the job I’ve held for sixteen years. I was the Sales Secretary at a food brokerage, working with food distributors and vendors. It was a good job, and I was pretty damn good at it.
I’d had some inkling that it was coming, so I wasn’t completely blindsided. However, I didn’t know when and that added a whole new level of stress and complication to the mix. And, as time ticked down, the stress got worse and worse. So, as sad as I am to not be working there anymore, I am happy to be free of the stress, which wasn’t good for the fibro or trigeminal neuralgia.
I do want to say one thing, though. That place was like family to me. We had our rough patches, and disagreements, but at the end of the day, I was treated very well. And we were like a little family, the six of us. They had my back and I had theirs. Two of my former co-workers passed away, and both were good, decent people. One former co-worker retired. So at the very end, it was just me and my bosses.
I will miss them. It hasn’t been that long, and I already miss going there every day. Taking the bus. The vendor reps and buyers I worked with on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes, I can’t believe that it’s over. But…things always change. My bosses were of retirement age, so it was inevitable. But being somewhere for almost twenty years makes it hard to walk away, no matter the circumstances. But I see this as an opportunity to do something new and different. And maybe, forge my own path.
Technically, I have worked in foodservice for twenty-six years: fast food for ten, and this job for sixteen. And I seriously need a change of pace.
So I’m job hunting, and doing some soul searching. What do I want at this stage of my life? What do I need? What is good for my health and well-being?
I don’t really have an answer yet, other than I’d love to freelance full time, but it has been hard to get enough clients to make the bills on a consistent basis. So I believe I may need to do both: have a job outside the home and freelance on the side. I do not mind working two jobs. I have always worked two jobs, and for awhile I worked three to pay off my school loans. I can hustle. It just depends on finances and my health.
As you know, the TN has gotten worse. I am due to see my neurologist next week and she will probably change my medication. So hopefully that will buy me some time before more drastic measures are taken. So unfortunately, I have to consider the TN as well.
But whatever I do decide, I will do what’s right for me. For many, many years, I did what was good for others — family, husband, etc. — and did not once think of what I truly needed. And I believe it’s time I do that. With this (hopefully) short break, I can rest and rejuvenate and figure this all out. Because I’m too old to be following someone else’s ideas of what I should do. This is my life, and I intend to live it the only way I can.
The road ahead may be bumpy, but the work has to be put in to reap the rewards. And I believe that God is guiding me into the perfect place for me. He’s got my back. I will be okay. 🙂