Portrait of the Humble Artist As A Young Man

My first story was Snow White and the Seven Pygmy Pole Dancers.  With hindsight, I realize that perhaps my fourth grade Show and Tell audience wasn’t ready yet for such a work.  This lack of readiness was demonstrated by the relentless teasing I underwent at recess for the next week, something that did not end until I hit upon the strategy of telling individual tormentors that the character of Stumpy was based on them.  At that point, the taunting turned into beatings.  Severe beatings.  And not the good kind – I was on the receiving end of these beatings.  This was pretty much the template for my life through grade school and high school.

Is it any wonder I ran away to New York City, where I was sure my literary skills would be recognized and appreciated?

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Ssh! The Maestro’s Devolving!

Music is important to me.  Perhaps too important.

My wife loves the movie Ladyhawke.  Beautiful, romantic, blah blah blah.  I hate it.  Why?  The music.  Modern, electronic music in a film set in a time before electricity was discovered and domesticated.  Geez, Richard Donner, I know it was the 80s, but really?  Electronica????  Completely pulled me out of the story. 

Most recent Star Trek movie?  Like it, but didn’t love it.  Because of the music.  Not that the soundtrack is bad; on subsequent listens, I have to admit it’s pretty decent.  But the trailer music was, in my opinion, much better, and I went into the movie expecting that music, not the actual soundtrack that accompanied it.  Major letdown that colored my first impression of the movie.

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On The Origin of Turtleducks By Means of Writerly Selection

So you’re probably asking yourself, “Turtleduck Press?  Where did that name come from? And just what is a Turtleduck anyway?”

Don’t feel ashamed of yourself for not knowing.  The turtleduck myth is not widely known outside of the more arcane academic circles, although it has made some unexpected appearances in pop culture despite this obscurity.  Today’s blog post is to help spread the word about this stunning beast.

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Who is KD Sarge?

KD Sarge writes for joy and hope, and works for a living. She has tried her hand at many endeavors, including Governess of the Children, Grand Director of the Drive-Through, and Dispatcher of the Tow Trucks. Currently KD labors appreciated but underpaid in the public school system.

Past accomplishments include surviving eight one-year-olds for eight hours alone (she lasted about ten months), driving a twenty-foot truck from Ohio to Arizona by way of *shudder* Oklahoma, and making a six-pack of tacos in twenty-three seconds.

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FAQ and Facts

 Why Turtleduck Press?

In this boom-time of do-it-yourself publishing, quality often suffers. The Turtleduck Press logo assures the reader that the work in question has gone through the approval process of TDP. Our members are staking their own careers on the quality TDP as a group releases.

Why Turtleduck?

Why not?

The turtleduck is a remarkable creature. With its adaptability and strength, as well as its beauty, it is an apt mascot for this alliance. The turtleduck survives where other waterfowl cannot. Turtleduck Press will thrive in areas traditional publishing cannot go.

Why DIY publishing?

The members of Turtleduck Press love traditional publishing! The awesome book-loving people of traditional publishing have produced many of our very favorite books.

Sadly, no one is giving those awesome book-lovers money to publish the works they think are the best out there. A traditional publishing company must aim for profit. They must select books they expect to sell, and sell well.

Excellence is not exclusive to works with huge commercial appeal.

Turtleduck Press exists to offer alternatives. Poetry, novellas, oddball mixes of genre–these are works outside the boundaries of the potential blockbuster, but still worthy of attention. These are the works only TDP can bring to you.


How did TDP come about?

The catalyst for TDP was a “good” rejection from the traditional publishing world. The author’s “dream” agent kept a submission for a year, wavering, but in the end decided she did not love the work enough to fight the battle royal …

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About Us


Turtleduck Press is an alliance of writers committed to bringing quality but less-commercial works to the public.

Writers don’t like to write in boxes. Here you will find the stories and projects that don’t fit well elsewhere. Each work has been approved in a decision process designed to bring our offerings to their highest quality before release.

We may periodically search for new members; we are open to submissions only at these times. All misfired submissions will be deleted unread.

Turtleduck Press is committed to quality, as our name is only as good as the works on which it appears.

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