Home Posts tagged "personal" (Page 2)

Tag: personal

Happy birthday to me…in 6 days.

Technically five, actually, since it’s almost 2am on Wednesday as I am writing this, but let’s just pretend it’s still Tuesday, okay? I actually remembered to do this, then got busy with work, then looked up at the clock and realized that a whole two hours had gone by and…oops? So here we are. Almost 2am on Wednesday-pretend-it’s-Tuesday. Sooooo my birthday is March 27th (in case the math didn’t make that clear enough). Smack between winter and spring. the weather is usually crappy, but the one year it was nice, I was unable to walk due to the Great Surgery Adventure of 2019. Hoping for good weather this year! I will be forty-seven years old. Three years away from a half a century on this lovely planet. Seventeen thousand one hundred fifty five days old, not quite exactly, because I don’t feel like figuring for leap years. I just looked it up, actually. It’s 17, 165 days, just ten more. Wow. And 564 months. There are a bunch of other figures, which I won’t bore you with, but I liked this one: 15.7 years sleeping (approximately). Seriously? Wow. That’s seriously mind-blowing. So I was thinking back to my childhood. I’m sure you’re all aware that my generation is the last that never had cell phones, or internet, or any of the technology that we enjoy today. Cell phones came around — well, technically in the 80s because I remembered a friend of mine in middle school, her dad had one…

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What are you manifesting?

So, if you’ve been around for awhile, I’m sure you’ve heard of the Law of Attraction. Well, I’m not talking about that. Not exactly. See, a year ago, I took a “bootcamp” in a manifestation technique through author Heather Hildenbrand that is similar, but is quite different, too. Actually, I have yet to totally finish it, as I got super busy during that period. She is running the bootcamp for a second time, and I am an alumna, so I get to take it again (and again and again…) if I want to. So I will probably do that. But the parts I did take were extremely helpful. But I’m not really talking about that, either. It’s the backstory. See, I’ve always been curious about it. Can you really manifest anything your heart desires? The one thing they say is that you have to put the work into it — you can’t just say, okay, I’m going to be a millionaire by next week and wait for the dollar bills to fall from the sky. We and the universe are co-creators — we work together. You gotta do something to help that come together. The universe does its part; you do yours. So in my Lenormand class, we touched on a manifestation technique with the cards that I tried recently with a duplicate deck I kept just for this purpose. It’s basically waiting for the right moon phase (for setting intentions and manifestation – the new moon) and laying out…

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Christmas is in…how many days?!

Is it time to panic? I think it’s time to panic. To be fair, my family’s been hit pretty hard with some challenges this year. My husband just tested positive for COVID, despite all efforts toward being safe. Three years he dodged it. Only to be hit with it five days before Christmas. What terrible luck! The good news is that it seems to be a mild case, and he’s already feeling a bit better, so we may have a chance of having our holiday celebration on Sunday. However — and here’s the tough part — we’re worried about anyone else coming down with it in between. We are quarantining, distancing, masking, and doing everything we can to avoid catching it, but you know how that works — sometimes it’s just the luck of the draw. If anyone does get it, then it’s game over. We are already having a second celebration the Wednesday afterward to accomodate my sister, who can’t be with us for Christmas due to having to work, so we could, theoretically, have the whole thing that day — if everyone’s okay. But prep-wise, which my mom and I are doing (as usual, and in some considerable pain as we both have a genetic hip/back issue that’s acting up), we don’t know what to do yet. Do we make the food as if we’re having it Sunday? Or do we wait a bit? I already cleaned the bathroom (my usual job) because regardless, that needed doing. But…having…

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Gratitude

Sometimes, in the hustle and bustle of daily life, we forget to stop and give thanks for our blessings. I know I do. Frequently. It’s easy to take for granted that we’re healthy, or that we’ve got food to eat, or a roof over our heads. We forget that there are people out there who don’t have those things. And then it’s like, whoa, I am so lucky. I need to thank God/the Universe/whomever for this. Every Thanksgiving I try my best to practice gratitude. At our table, we list our blessings and what we are thankful for. It’s a small but very powerful thing. It reminds us that we should never take anything for granted. As you know, my health has never been perfect. But I am very lucky in that I’ve never had cancer or any other serious or life-threatening illness. I’ve never had to think about what happens after I’m gone in a very real way (versus abstractly right now) or actually make preparations for that possibility or say goodbyes or be faced with options that will either give me three great months or seven horrible ones. I thank God for that all the time. Yeah, I get frustrated with things — the severe fatigue, the sleep issues, the little stuff that pops up…but nothing’s killing me. I’m lucky. So damn lucky. I’m also grateful for my business, my job, which allows me to work from home and not jeopardize my health worse by having to work…

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Re-entry, Part 4

KD is still off having adventures, so you get bonus Siri this month! [CW: pandemic, mental health] Last time I wrote a re-entry post, I’d just gotten back from visiting family in Montreal, and I wrote about how big a step it was for me and how exhausting I found it. Well, I’ve just had another Montreal visit (to see a very small human and their parents — my third bit of travel this year, all for family reasons). I’m pleased to report that it felt much more doable. My stamina for peopling was better — I did need frequent introvert-recharge breaks, but that’s always been true for me. I kept my mask on during most of the long train ride and on public transit, but not in a coffee shop or on busy sidewalks. (Also, the weather and the leaves were gorgeous, as has been the case every time I’ve visited in the fall. Highly recommend October in Montreal, especially if you can get there by taking the train.) I’ve started going to contra dances again — masks are still required, which makes them feel much safer, and it’s wonderful to be back with my dance community after so long. My spouse and I have been cautiously eating in restaurants now and then, as long as they’re mostly empty and/or there’s a lot of airflow from open windows. I still wear masks on public transit and mostly in stores. I’m in no hurry to risk going anywhere crowded —…

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Birthday Celebrations: Yay or Nay?

Today — well, yesterday, as it’s now midnight — was my husband’s birthday. I once wrote a blog about how awesome he is, so I won’t repeat that — although he is still awesome, and he just gets more awesome by the year. 🙂 We’ll be having a family party in a few weeks, but today we had a nice dinner (take out, of course, because of COVID. We do this every year for the birthday person as per tradition). Then his parents surprised us by stopping by, which is always nice. All in all, it was a great day. And he was very happy. But recently, I was shocked to learn that some people don’t celebrate birthdays. I understand the idea of an adult not having a party — maybe he or she feels like that’s more of a thing for when you’re younger — and when you’re older, it’s not really a big deal. But in my family? We make a big deal out of birthdays and holidays. For life. The family parties have it all — the dinner, the gifts, the cake (or desserts, in some cases), and ice cream. (Now some are gluten free to accommodate my diet, which is awesome). Is that childish? I dunno, to be honest. It’s always been this way. We’re firm believers in celebrating every year. I believe that you should celebrate each trip around the sun. Especially in these times, with COVID, because let’s face it — we’re never guaranteed…

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Lessons from The Tarot: Empress

So, if you’ve been hanging around here awhile, you know that I’ve been reading Tarot since I was sixteen (thirty years!) and Lenormand for the past two years. And while I originally, as a kid, used it “to tell my future” LOL, I now use it mostly for guidance. And writing, but that’s another post. Today I’d like to talk about the Empress card and the lessons it has taught me. First of all, the Empress is Key 3 (of 21) – Major Arcana (major life themes/karma/big things) and she represents creativity, abundance, nurturing, motherhood, a mother figure, home and hearth, and, in some contexts, pregnancy. (She’s actually HUGE for pregnancy if the question is about that). The interesting thing about the Empress is that she is my personal significator card. See, the Tarot selects a card for you when you start reading. And that card will show up in a lot of your readings. And the Empress is totally interesting as my card because, well, I’m not really maternal, and I’m not a mother (except to a cat), but I am creative and I am all about home and hearth and I can be very nurturing. So it’s kinda like an inside joke. Here’s me, the woman the least likely to pop out kids, and I’m the Empress. Ha, ha. But there’s another aspect to her. She’s also the Divine Feminine, counterpart to The Emperor, Key 4, the Divine Masculine. The Divine Feminine what, you say? Well…that’s all about…

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My Body, My Head, and I

Why are bodies? as the kids say. Or, translated: Why are bodies so demanding? I’m a writer (obviously) and editor. I like to live in my head, which means I tend to ignore the fact that I’m not a brain in a jar. Sometimes my body makes demands, and when it doesn’t get what it wants, it complains — increasingly so, as I get older. This summer I’ve been trying to pull myself out of the sedentary lifestyle that I’ve been seduced into by the pandemic and its attendant anxiety and depression. I love walking anywhere there are trees, but Toronto’s summers are humid and gross (and our winters and sometimes our springs are damp and gross; we have beautiful autumns, though). I enjoy doing yoga at home, where I can go at my own pace and modify as much as I need, but I can’t seem to make the habit stick. My beloved dance community ran for a few months in the spring after its pandemic hiatus; I’ve made it to only one dance so far, but am hoping to go regularly when it restarts in autumn. Then there’s that demanding body. First my ankle complained. Then the ankle healed but my knee started acting up. Now I’m having a recurrence of an old wrist and shoulder issue…plus an eye issue that came up in the spring and isn’t going away. Most of these aren’t huge problems, but they’re all annoying and concerning. Especially because they’re getting in the…

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Why Perfectionism Sucks

About a week ago, I read an awesome poem on Instagram. I follow a lot of poets on there, and I collect prompts and post my own stuff and generally try to participate in the poetry community when I can. Anyway, this poem inspired me, and I commented to the poet that I “might write an after poem inspired by it.” (An “after poem” is basically that — a poem inspired by another poem, or a response to it). The poet was obviously excited and happy to read that because she said, “Please, please do!” So I did. The poem was on “All the Places I’ve Lost Myself.” But my version didn’t quite hit the mark; in fact, I believe I veered completely off course. As one does. Oops? I wasn’t happy with it. Well, it wasn’t bad per se. It just wasn’t what I was hoping for as an after poem. If you recall, these Instagram poems are part of my Bad Poetry Project, so they don’t have to be perfect. But all of a sudden, the perfectionism monster reared its ugly head. One revision, I told myself. Just to get it right. I had some better ideas. I was sure I could nail it. And…I almost did? But not quite. Not quite. Now, here’s the problem. I am a total perfectionist. I know this about myself. I’m not allowed to make mistakes, not allowed to be anything less than 100% perfect. Why? I suspect trauma — being bullied,…

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Gluten-free FTW

So, last month I talked about how I’d switched to a gluten-free diet due to a gluten intolerance. I’d just started it, and it was going well. I wanted to give a bit of an update about my progress. 🙂 For the most part, I’ve been doing well. I’ve either been making actual gluten-free recipes, or modifying my own to make them gluten free. That hasn’t been too hard…yet. Except when you are running late and are starting dinner and have completely forgotten that some ingredients aren’t gluten free and you aren’t sure if you have any gluten-free equivalents on hand because this is the first time you’ve made it since going gluten free. Yeah. That happened recently. Luckily, it worked out. I just omitted the ingredient in question and checked that the other one was in fact gluten free (the brand was, thankfully) and all was well. Thing is, my cooking, since the pandemic started, has been what I call “fast and loose” — meaning that instead of figuring out which day I am making which meal on any given week like I used to, I literally decide the night before. Sometimes a few nights ahead if it’s more complicated. So things unfortunately slip my mind. I’m human. And I’m still adjusting. I’m sure at some point this will become more normal and natural and I won’t have to think, “Oh crap, is everything gluten free?” because all of my ingredients will be. I’m still in transition. Which brings…

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