Home Posts tagged "personal" (Page 5)

Tag: personal

5 Lessons I’ve Learned From Freelancing

I recently hit the year anniversary of my layoff, July 28th. I was sitting in the dentist chair and I remembered how scared I was that my life was changing in a major way. I no longer had a job, a job I’d had for the past sixteen years. I grew up there—I was just twenty-five when I was hired. I was forty-one when I was laid off. So, if you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, you’ll know that I made the decision to work from home. Freelance editing and virtual assisting were my two main niches. I am now looking at freelance writing as a possibility, too. So what have I learned this past year? #1 Fear is a part of the process. There’s no way around it. It’s a huge change. I’ve spent hours just looking for clients with the ever-present threat of not having enough money to pay our bills. I’m happy to report that that has not happened yet. But the fear is real. Just not going to an office was an adjustment, too. Most people say we’re lucky. And we are. But after twenty years in office work, I literally had to relearn how to work. There are always distractions and things I never thought about because I wasn’t home. Now, things are different. Not bad. Just different. I was scared that I’d never be able to make the transition. That I was so hard-wired for office work that my brain wouldn’t be able…

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Farewell to Summer and Good Riddance

This is the way my summer has gone… I worked all summer, and most of the weekends were either miserably hot or rainy (or both!) so I didn’t get out and about very much. I sort of feel like I missed the summer. I did get some glorious long weekend afternoons on my shady back patio. We sprang for some good-quality patio furniture a few years ago, and that was an excellent decision — I swear that couch is more comfortable than the one in our living room (though my spouse would beg to differ). The vegetable garden was fairly minimal, but delicious as usual (more about that next time, probably). Writing was also fairly minimal, but better than it had been in the previous half-year, so that’s something. I have stuff in the works now that you’ll be seeing at TDP in 2019…stay tuned! Springtime here is usually grey and rainy, and I’m solar-powered, so I always wait for summer to arrive and my mood to perk up. Except this year, that last part didn’t happen. I think I’m pulling out of it now, but that was a long haul of just hanging in there. I’m looking ahead to a very busy September. That’s due to some happy events that I’m really looking forward to (including family stuff and my annual writers’ retreat with my in-person critique group!). But right now I’m still in the “all the prep aaah” stage. I strongly dislike winter, but as long as I’m…

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The Hailey Chronicles

I first met Hailey when my husband, who was at the time my boyfriend, brought me home to his apartment. Sitting there was a black cat with green-yellow eyes. She was just two years old. And i fell in love with her on the spot (I also fell in love with her daddy, but that took slightly longer). She used to love play-biting me. And screwing with my husband’s Christmas tree. This little thing made a move to our apartment ten years ago and followed me out of it when I was signing for a UPS shipment. I’d walked in, shut and locked the door, and ate dinner. About a half hour later, I hear her crying and realize, oh crap! She’s outside. I spent at least fifteen minutes apologizing for leaving her out there, alone and scared. Once she darted out of the apartment and up the stairs. I thank God for the outer door being closed. She might have left us, never to return again. She made the move to where we live now, an actual house to roam in. She has her favorite places: on top of the recliner (she has amazing balance), on the bed, on the couch in the evenings, my office sometimes. On the couch in the basement in the mornings with hubby. Hailey’s not a cuddler or lap cat, and holding her usually results in panicked yowls and wiggling until she’s set free. However, when I was recovering from ankle surgery, she actually…

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Fear of Change

I’m staring down the barrel of some rather scary changes at my job (the job I do when I’m not writing or editing or doing other stuff for TDP, that is). First of all, I’m in the civil service, there’s an election this week, and we’re anticipating a change of government for the first time since I started working here. Second, my office is moving early next year, and our work environment is set to change rather dramatically. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t facing both of those things with fear and trepidation. I’ve gotten…if not always comfortable, at least used to the way things are now. I know what to expect. I know which direction to turn when I get off the elevator. I know what the current government’s priorities and positions are, and how those translate to my job. I can see the CN Tower from my cubicle. Did I mention I’ve been in the same job for, um, a while? And that I’m not great with change? But change there will be. I can be dragged towards it kicking and screaming, or I can face it with hope that eventually, somehow, something better will come of it. The former is awfully tempting, but the latter involves more grace and more self-kindness. If I hadn’t taken the plunge and quit my former job and moved to Toronto way back when, I wouldn’t be sitting here in this 95-year-old brick house that I love. If I hadn’t…

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This post is brought to you by the word “Sleep”

Ah, yes. Sleep. Curling up in your bed, under your covers just so, your brain refreshing and resetting for the next day. It’s awesome. Except when it’s habitually interrupted. Say what? Well, you see, my mother just had her second knee replacement surgery. For those of you who don’t know, it’s incapacitating those first few months. So my sister and I are helping her with things. She also has an elderly, sick dog who needs practically round-the-clock care. And he sometimes gets up as early as 5am. And sometimes doesn’t go back to sleep after he eats and is let out. Luckily, that’s not a regular occurrence. However, there’s his feeding/medication schedule: he’s fed three times a day and given various medications also three times a day. I had to set alarms for everything or I’d forget something. Now I’m a bit better, but if I get absorbed in something I still may forget. And then there’s letting him out to do his business. He could theoretically go out ten times in a row and only pee once or twice. But because we’re afraid to have accidents, we let him out every single time. And that’s exhausting because you have to watch him and then make sure he gets a treat afterward. But I am not complaining. Honest. He’s a sweet dog, and loving, and I know somewhere in that little brain of his he appreciates our love and care. He’s a former puppy mill dog, and when my mom…

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Ooh, Shiny! The Art of Learning New Things

Late last year, I accidentally started learning the guitar. I didn’t mean to. See, we were cleaning up for the holidays, and my spouse’s guitar has been sitting on a stand in the corner of the living room, looking decorative and getting dusty. He picked it up to dust it and ended up plucking away on it, for the first time in a couple of years. Then I stole it and started plucking away on it. Then we started looking up chords for Christmas songs so we could sing and play together. Four weeks later, I bought my own guitar. Of course, a month after that I got hit by this year’s Death!Cold and have had no energy to practice until just these last few days. But in the intervening time, I built my calluses, learned all the common chords, can muddle my way through a couple of songs, learned the blues scale, and am working through some basic bluegrass stuff. It’s intoxicating, learning a new thing. Last year it was French. Spouse and I decided to brush up on our rusty high-school French, mostly by way of reading Harry Potter et la Chambre des secrets out loud during our commute. It worked surprisingly well. We got to the point of carrying on conversations with each other, and just barely making ourselves understood during a trip to Montreal, before running out of steam. But I haven’t lost everything. I’m still quite a bit better at reading French, and slightly better…

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Lessons Learned

I have been unemployed/self-employed for seven months now. It seems like just yesterday that I was laid off. But time has gone by, and I have learned a few things. I had originally decided to focus on editing and virtual assisting, things I can do from home. And I have applied literally everywhere. And, for the most part, I haven’t had much luck. Have I given up? Hell no. Here are some things I have learned from this experience so far: 1. Anything that is worth it is worth fighting for. I have a number of health issues, and I knew once I was laid off that the type of work I was doing wasn’t going to work for me anymore. I took a risk in not pursuing that type of work in favor of work from home jobs. It’s not that I don’t want to work. I realized I was in a unique position to try to change careers. It hasn’t been easy, and it hasn’t been fun, but I still believe this is the best thing for me at this stage of my life. And so I keep keeping on. 2. Sometimes you simply need a break. My former job was very stressful, especially toward the end. I had been living in a constant state of stress so severe I had lost 2/3 of my hair. I just realized about a month ago that gee, my hair came back. Because the stress was mostly gone. I had been working through severe…

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Trigeminal Neuralgia: 5-Year Update

Technically, February 3rd is the actual five-year anniversary, but close enough. When I first began talking about my mysterious eye pain, I couldn’t handle the idea of having it for a month, let alone years. But apparently, fate had a different idea. It’s been five very long years. So…after a year pain free, I was plunged right back into my nightmare again. My neurologist and I are still trying to get a handle on the pain. It’s not constant anymore, which is a good thing, but I still have horrible pain attacks. I’ve had to spend less time on the computer, doing things I love, because the screen does make it worse sometimes. But one good thing has come of this. I have been able to tackle my extensive paperback/hardcover To Be Read pile. Unfortunately, other things, like Guild Wars, have gone by the wayside. I am still hoping to get back into it at some point. Writing-wise, I’m doing well. I can’t not write, pain or no pain. Been trying to get up the energy to dictate/transcribe so I don’t have to look at a screen all the time. There may be a visit to a neurosurgeon in my future. I am scared, and worried, and not wanting to have surgery. There’s Gamma Knife, which isn’t invasive and uses radiation, but I’ve read that some people have worse pain afterward. Some are helped, but not forever. The pain always returns as the nerve regenerates. So…I just don’t know. I’ve…

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Tis the Season to Be Jolly

…Or something like that. This year for my family, it’s a bit different. My mom is recovering from surgery, so we decided to make this a very low-key holiday. None of us felt up to the task of hauling our huge tree up from the basement, decorating it, and then taking it down at the end of the year. So we have a very small tree that my husband bought. We decorated it and put it in the kitchen, where the cat can’t get at it (that’s one thing I won’t miss this year — keeping the cat away from the tree). And while I will sort of miss Mom’s  beautiful tree, I will not miss the stress in getting it up and decorated. Because technically, Christmas is not about the tree. The tree is important, yes, but it’s not everything. The most important thing to me is family. That’s right. We have traditions — Christmas Eve at my in-laws, unwrapping gifts on Christmas morning, etc. — and those are the things that comfort me and make me feel good. I may not be employed full time yet, but that doesn’t even hit my radar (well, we did scale back on gifts a bit to compensate) because Christmas is not about grandiose gift giving gestures or fancy things. It’s about being with the people you love most in the world, the people that are, in essence, your world.   My mother-in-law (and now, mother) has a thing on her wall from…

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Starting a New Chapter in My Life

So, as you may or may not know, I was recently laid off from the job I’ve held for sixteen years. I was the Sales Secretary at a food brokerage, working with food distributors and vendors. It was a good job, and I was pretty damn good at it. I’d had some inkling that it was coming, so I wasn’t completely blindsided. However, I didn’t know when and that added a whole new level of stress and complication to the mix. And, as time ticked down, the stress got worse and worse. So, as sad as I am to not be working there anymore, I am happy to be free of the stress, which wasn’t good for the fibro or trigeminal neuralgia. I do want to say one thing, though. That place was like family to me. We had our rough patches, and disagreements, but at the end of the day, I was treated very well. And we were like a little family, the six of us. They had my back and I had theirs. Two of my former co-workers passed away, and both were good, decent people. One former co-worker retired. So at the very end, it was just me and my bosses. I will miss them. It hasn’t been that long, and I already miss going there every day. Taking the bus. The vendor reps and buyers I worked with on a day-to-day basis. Sometimes, I can’t believe that it’s over. But…things always change. My bosses were of retirement…

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