Clothes Make the Woman…Maybe

Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.

—Rachel Zoe

Clothing has been one of the banes of my existence.

As a teen and young adult, I had no sense of fashion and didn’t know how to acquire one. It doesn’t help that this was the ’90s, or that I didn’t have the money to do a lot of experimenting (or the inclination for thrifting). So I spent a lot of time feeling awkward and out of the loop. Not just because of my clothes, of course; I just had the general sense that I’d missed an instruction manual somewhere.

Despite all that, I managed to start a professional career in a real office (after being chastised by my temp agency for taking a backpack to an interview…and here we pause to acknowledge that white-collar dress codes are deliberately classist, racist, and exclusionary). I realized I had to learn how to “look the part,” so I bought style magazines and signed up for an online style guide subscription, which helped a lot in demystifying the world of personal style and how to put an outfit together. I went through a phase of trying to wear blazers, dress pants, and pencil skirts, and trying to figure out how to find office-appropriate shoes that would stay on and also not kill my feet. (I finally settled on flat mary janes.)

(Insert rant about women’s shoes, office-appropriate women’s bags, women’s fashion in general, pockets, and so on.)

As I got more confident in myself and settled into my career, my style shifted again. (It helped that although I didn’t change jobs, my workplace grew more casual over the years.) I decided that I didn’t feel right in blazers, and started looking for ways to express “I’m a creator/artsy type in disguise.” That involved figuring out how to wear prints, going for more flowy silhouettes and comfy cardigans, and always wearing an interesting necklace. Bonus: clothes that felt like wearing pajamas to work. Also lots of colour.

(Complicating factor: trends. I buy clothes just fast enough that by the time I’ve fully embraced a trend and my wardrobe has shifted accordingly, it’s gone again and then I can’t find any more of it anywhere. Not the one-season trends, but those that hang around for a few years. Bootcut jeans are a good example.)

Then the pandemic arrived.

I’m now 15 months into working from home. I’ve tried to keep some separation between “work” and “non-work” clothes for the sake of my mental health (and because of all the Zoom meetings), but I packed away anything that felt too stiff or restrictive because early in the pandemic, all I wanted was to be wrapped in comfort. I haven’t worn a necklace this entire time. My wardrobe is sliding fast into athleisure and leggings (see above re: trends). (Side note: merino is the best thing ever, the end.)

I call this phase “it’s a pandemic” and also “f*** it, I don’t care what anyone thinks about how I look.” I mean, I feel good about what I’m wearing and how I look in it, but…let’s just say that if and when we go back to the office, it’s going to be a rude awakening.

Oh, and yes, I am still buying new clothes despite not going anywhere–mostly because my size has changed (is maybe still changing? I’m not really keeping track). Unpacking for each new season brings unpleasant surprises, which brings up all sorts of feelings about body image/size that I didn’t realize I’d be susceptible to, being an Enlightened Feminist and all. On the bright side, I’ve found some ethical, eco-friendly, fair-trade businesses to support while trying to alleviate my anxieties through shopping. (Privilege again: they are usually more expensive, but I can afford it–in part because so many other expenses have dropped–and I’m focusing more and more on voting with my dollars.)

(For those who are interested, here are some of the businesses I’ve patronized: Icebreaker and Smartwool for merino, Yoga Jeans for stretchy jeans, Kotn for 100% cotton clothing and also the softest cotton bedsheets ever.)

What’s next? Will post-pandemic fashion return to the uncomfortable and impractical? (Or at least the avant-garde…thinking of the Roaring Twenties and the massive shift from Edwardian dress to flappers.) Will I shift again to keep up with it, or will I be that person wearing leggings long after everyone else has moved on? (Shades of the ’90s again…remember stirrup pants? I loved mine. Today I was wearing an oversized shirt and leggings, and I swear I had a flashback to Grade 8.)

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me…

—Jenny Joseph

Stay tuned!