So, in my unofficial continuing “fluff” series of posts, I am going to talk about giant insects.
<laughs> That’s one way to start this with a bang, huh? Giant insects? What the hell?
Well, you see, a few weeks ago on a Sunday, my mom was watching a movie called Empire of the Ants. (Warning: Wikipedia page ahead). It was one of my rare days off, I literally had nothing to do, and I was curious. For the uninitiated, it’s about these scammers trying to sell a crap house and property to a bunch of people and a bunch of giant ants attack them. These are ants mutated by radioactive waste (how original) and they are vicious! At one point, they are stuck on an island with them! Scary!
For a film made in 1977, it’s not horrible, but damn, the special effects are cheesy. I mean, no CGI, and it’s painfully obvious that the ants are fake. The gory scenes aren’t bad (and yes, these ants tear the poor people up. It’s insane). There were mind control elements, which surprised me: the queen ant would spray the people with a mist that made them compliant. I guess the other people on the island were in on it? The dialogue is pretty stilted, too. But it was entertaining, and we talked about the cheesiness, and I guess that’s the point?
Second up was last weekend’s film, The Deadly Mantis. (Obligatory Wikipedia warning). I laughed at this one through most of it. It was really dumb. I mean, with a title like that…you have to laugh! When I started watching, which wasn’t the beginning, there was this (supposedly) huge preying mantis flying through the air and the military is tracking it. It buzzes. And then it lands and they face off with guns and stuff. Nothing really fazes the mantis, though. It’s huge, with huge legs and huge freakish eyes. In some ways, the mantis scared me more. And then….it was just kind of over? Someone shot it and they took it into this place and it appeared dead, and then it moved a bit, and we’re thinking, “oh no, it’s NOT dead,” and boom! It was a freaking REFLEX. And a man and a woman kissed, so I guess there was a romance, too? And the movie ended. How lame. This one was in black and white and was released in 1957.
I’m also going to add The Fly here. (Wikipedia warning). It’s not giant, per se, but it scared the crap out of me when I first saw it. There’s this scientist that is trying to create a teleporter. As he’s experimenting, using himself, of course, a fly flies into it and they get fused. He becomes it, or maybe it becomes him. Yeah. So he’s got fly parts. And I don’t really remember much else, except the end, where he’s trapped in a spiderweb. He’s got a human head and a fly body and he’s screaming, “Help me! Help me!” Sleep tight, friends.
I know this stuff is actually horror, so it doesn’t quite qualify by my definition of “fluff,” but it did take me away from the craziness for a bit and made me think of, well, giant insects. Fake giant insects. Insects with huge eyes.
Makes me think of last summer when a spider came down from the ceiling in my basement office and landed RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FREAKING FACE. Biggest. Spider. Ever. I had to have hubby kill it, and he missed the first time, but got it the second time. Imagine if it were bigger. And, uh, wanted to kill me. Yikes and double yikes.
For those who don’t know, I’m terrified of spiders. (No kidding!). <laughs> Well, I have been on a mission to scare myself for the past few years, because nothing has really done it. But those mantis eyes? While fake, they came close.
I also have the movie Hereditary that I got for my birthday back in March. I hear that one’s pretty scary. Maybe it’ll do it.
And wow. I am so creeped out right now.
Thanks, Mom!