Fail and Fail and Try Again

So…every six months like clockwork, except not, because I’m just not that regular about anything at all, I decide I want to get my stuff together. I do! I have seen the improvement in my life with every infinitesimal mote of progress I make in that direction. So I try. And I try some more. And I fail. And I fail some more, but maybe not completely…

You may remember my efforts from such hits as On A Higher Level (2014), Happy New Year! Or Something (2016), Standard Operating Procedure (2016), New Year, New Filing System (2018), Organization is Good (2019), Chasing Productivity (2019)… I thought sure I had a 2020 one too, but that’s on my own blog. Just One Resolution (2020) (spoiler: I did not continue looking at my bullet journal every day.)

My thinking, it seems to me, is very chaotic. Last night I went to brush my teeth and somehow ended up starting the dishwasher, and didn’t realize I hadn’t brushed my teeth until I’d been in bed for ten minutes.

UGH. I guess that’s why it’s so hard to corral my brain.

But whatever. I’m being kind to myself, and trying again.

Here is my newest attempt at a bullet journal. Well, the start of it. I’m considering what else I want to do with it besides a weekly planner. Probably chore tracking? Habit tracking? Do I want to do that? I mean, I want to build good habits, but tracking doesn’t seem to have helped me much in that direction so far, and it does work wonderfully at making me mad at myself…

Really need to not over-complicate it so I end up not using it. That’s definitely a thing I do.

Anyway. I’m trying. I’ll have my weekly spread. I’m looking at buying more pages, since one of the things that let me fall down last time was the effort, late on Sunday night, of drawing up a new spread for the week. (okay, mainly it was the resisting the attempt to make it pretty, like all the other BuJos on Pinterest, and all that mess. Okay? I can draw lines. But I can’t even keep them straight, mostly.)

Look. Lots of writer-people own a bunch of journals they never use because they want to make them perfect. BuJos are the same. Which is why I’m working in a discbound notebook. Messed it up? Take it out! This method doesn’t work? Buy or make different pages, and try again! And for my routines, I’m doing note cards. I can change them. I can shuffle them. I can decide something is more life-changing than I can handle right now, and put one away.

If at first you don’t succeed…you’re probably human. But dang it, I’m tired of spinning my wheels. Something, eventually, has got to work.

…it does, doesn’t it? Have to work out eventually? Please…?