Home Posts tagged "mental health" (Page 5)

Tag: mental health

Life in the Time of Pandemics

One month ago, I was in here writing about imperfect friendships. Then the world entered a time warp called COVID-19, and ten years later, here I am again. What a surreal month it’s been, and from all accounts, things are going to get less like reality before they settle down into…well, whatever our new normal is, anyway. Last month, I was gloating about having had four weekends of contra dance in a row. I didn’t know then that our Leap Day dance would be our last for the foreseeable future, or that I would soon be really glad I decided to attend that dance weekend in February again. (For one thing, I bought a twirly skirt that weekend and wore it to one dance before everything ended. It’s the only contra dance skirt I can stand to wear right now. It cheers me up because it’s teal with purple patterns and swishes beautifully when I walk, but it’s not loaded with memories like my other skirts.) Four weeks ago, the dance organizing committee I’m on was debating whether it would be smart to cancel our March 14 dance. We could see what was coming, but hoped we could squeeze in one last event. But I’m glad we didn’t know we were saying goodbye on February 29…it would have been too sad. Three and a half weeks ago, all the schools here in Ontario closed, and we knew we had no choice but to cancel the entire rest of the dance…

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An Ode to Imperfect Friendships

Media depictions of friendship are a funny thing. Everyone in the movies or on TV seems to have one best friend, or maybe a tight-knit group of three or four (carefully chosen to be complementary, of course), who will be there to help out when you’re moving, mourning, celebrating, or anything in between. If you’re anything like me, not having a circle that looks like that can lead to feelings of inferiority. It certainly did when I was getting married in 2012 (and didn’t have a nice tidy squad of bridesmaids), when I’ve asked for in-person practical help and nobody volunteered, when I’ve been fighting depression and everything feels worse. But… I have a tight-knit community of online friends (including my fellow Turtleduckers) who cheerlead for my writing, listen patiently to my daily worries and complaints, and much, much more. I have a tight-knit community of contra dance friends who give the best hugs, belly laughs, moments of “flow” and play, and much, much more. (I got to dance four weekends in a row in February, including one entire weekend away that involved a hilarious carpool of 40something women, a hotel suite full of geeks, and lots of folks I only get to see once or twice a year. Those weekends got me through the month.) I have friends who come when I throw a party, even though I still feel like an awkward host. I have friends who invite me over to their messy house so we can order…

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Resting

On my Instagram, I’ve been following this account called The Nap Ministry, a performance art project by Tricia Hersey about how resting is a form of political resistance. She posts about how rest was something practiced by the leisure class as they exploited the working and enslaved classes (with both economic and racial inequities). Today there’s an emphasis on hustle, on being busy, on having side gigs. That’s at least in part because it’s hard for many folks to get a regular, steady 9–5 job with benefits that pays the bills without side gigs, but also because being busy is glorified in our society. Lean out, Hersey argues—lie down, and reclaim your right to rest. I’m thinking about that today because we’ve just had a long weekend, heading into a week off for me. My day job has been incredibly busy as we race to get a big project out the door. (It’s not quite out yet, but my colleagues are handling it, thank goodness.) At the same time I’ve been doing edits for the next Turtleduck Press novel, coming from KD Sarge in just a few months. And I even ended up spending Saturday afternoon working on a piece of the day-job project that arrived, naturally, on the Friday afternoon before a long weekend. After all that, I’m feeling more exhausted and brain-dead than I have in a long time. I spent the rest of Saturday staring blankly at things. Sunday and Monday I started to feel human again,…

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The Hibernator

Surprise, it’s me again! Kit had to bow out this week, so you’ll get her twice later on instead. It’s been a tough spring around here. The weather has been cold and wet for months (my day-job boss made a crack about how we seem to have moved to Vancouver — think Seattle if you’re American, or Scotland if you’re British), the world continues to be a dumpster fire in new and exciting ways, and all I want to do is hibernate. So I’ve been hibernating. Aside from the attempts at nesting I told you about last time, I’ve been reading more, watching Netflix (our new favourite show is The Good Place), and getting constantly sucked into Facebook. Some of those things are healthier coping mechanisms than others, I will admit… On the nesting front, we’ve also been tinkering with recipes. Most recently we’ve worked out: an excellent salad — arugula, cherry tomatoes, walnuts, some kind of cheese (blue, goat, Brie, Camembert, you name it), and homemade vinaigrette (based roughly on this) our new favourite brunch dish, huevos rancheros — our somewhat inauthentic version involves layering cheese quesadillas, BBQ pork or beef (fried up with some vegetables), and fried eggs, with maybe some hot sauce on top roasted beets — why do we never think of buying beets? Roasted in the oven with a little oil drizzled on top, they’re so flavourful, as it turns out! Perhaps helped along by all this delicious food, I’m gradually coming out of this…

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Looking at Trees

In Western Pennsylvania where I grew up, you do not have to go out of your way to look at trees. Just on the farm my parents owned, a large blue spruce grew on one side of the driveway, and a stand of aspen on the other. In the front yard was a walnut tree, on the hill a black cherry tree, on another hill, three plum trees. Also on our thirty-five acres stood thirty-seven apple trees. (You might understand that as a child I learned to be picky about my fresh fruit. But this post is not about that. This post is about trees.) Ahem, yes. Trees. I grew up with trees everywhere. Though we had fields and pastures on the farm, they were divided by lines of trees. And the eastern half(ish) of the property was all trees. Real forest, that had been there forever–maples and oaks and elms and beeches and crabapple and choke-cherry and sassafras and– Trees. I loved them then. Now that I live in Southern Arizona, I love them more. Trees are so restful. Green and quiet, making the sunlight shimmer, home to birds and bugs and cute furry animals… I’m luckier now than I’ve been many times. I have mature, beautiful palm trees in my front yard. I have dwarf citrus trees in my back yard. I live across the street (practically) from a park with lots of big trees. That’s “lots” by Arizona standards. By Pennsylvania standards, that’s a pasture. So Sunday…

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Farewell to Summer and Good Riddance

This is the way my summer has gone… I worked all summer, and most of the weekends were either miserably hot or rainy (or both!) so I didn’t get out and about very much. I sort of feel like I missed the summer. I did get some glorious long weekend afternoons on my shady back patio. We sprang for some good-quality patio furniture a few years ago, and that was an excellent decision — I swear that couch is more comfortable than the one in our living room (though my spouse would beg to differ). The vegetable garden was fairly minimal, but delicious as usual (more about that next time, probably). Writing was also fairly minimal, but better than it had been in the previous half-year, so that’s something. I have stuff in the works now that you’ll be seeing at TDP in 2019…stay tuned! Springtime here is usually grey and rainy, and I’m solar-powered, so I always wait for summer to arrive and my mood to perk up. Except this year, that last part didn’t happen. I think I’m pulling out of it now, but that was a long haul of just hanging in there. I’m looking ahead to a very busy September. That’s due to some happy events that I’m really looking forward to (including family stuff and my annual writers’ retreat with my in-person critique group!). But right now I’m still in the “all the prep aaah” stage. I strongly dislike winter, but as long as I’m…

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Fear of Change

I’m staring down the barrel of some rather scary changes at my job (the job I do when I’m not writing or editing or doing other stuff for TDP, that is). First of all, I’m in the civil service, there’s an election this week, and we’re anticipating a change of government for the first time since I started working here. Second, my office is moving early next year, and our work environment is set to change rather dramatically. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t facing both of those things with fear and trepidation. I’ve gotten…if not always comfortable, at least used to the way things are now. I know what to expect. I know which direction to turn when I get off the elevator. I know what the current government’s priorities and positions are, and how those translate to my job. I can see the CN Tower from my cubicle. Did I mention I’ve been in the same job for, um, a while? And that I’m not great with change? But change there will be. I can be dragged towards it kicking and screaming, or I can face it with hope that eventually, somehow, something better will come of it. The former is awfully tempting, but the latter involves more grace and more self-kindness. If I hadn’t taken the plunge and quit my former job and moved to Toronto way back when, I wouldn’t be sitting here in this 95-year-old brick house that I love. If I hadn’t…

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Ten Things I Learned On My Spring Vacation

I’m back from vacation! Did you miss me? (Don’t answer that.) If you’re anything like me, coming back to real life is always hard, although it’s also good to be home. And if you’re anything like me, you love to overthink analyze everything. So here goes: Things I Have Learned About Myself On Vacation. 1. When I’m on vacation, I really just want to go on leisurely walks…explore neighborhoods to find delicious restaurants and fun coffee shops…nap/lounge around…rinse and repeat. This is also true on long weekends at home, or even longer staycations–except of course it’s cheaper to do it at home. 2. But it’s nice to be away from all the “shoulds” of home, and my ongoing mental to-do list. 3. I always think I’m going to get lots of writing done. This is a lie, especially if seeing/visiting family is involved. (I miss my folks and want to spend tons of time with them when I can. Thank goodness I’m an introvert and need recharge time, and thank goodness they’re all fine with that.) The only time it ever happens is if the vacation is designated as a writing retreat and nothing else. Even then, 4 or 5 solid hours a day is my limit. Otherwise, it’s 1 or 2 hours, tops. 4. Maybe that’s okay. After all, a person needs some time off from the little niggling voice in the back of the brain that says “You should be writing!” 5. My mattress is clearly too soft,…

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Lessons Learned

I have been unemployed/self-employed for seven months now. It seems like just yesterday that I was laid off. But time has gone by, and I have learned a few things. I had originally decided to focus on editing and virtual assisting, things I can do from home. And I have applied literally everywhere. And, for the most part, I haven’t had much luck. Have I given up? Hell no. Here are some things I have learned from this experience so far: 1. Anything that is worth it is worth fighting for. I have a number of health issues, and I knew once I was laid off that the type of work I was doing wasn’t going to work for me anymore. I took a risk in not pursuing that type of work in favor of work from home jobs. It’s not that I don’t want to work. I realized I was in a unique position to try to change careers. It hasn’t been easy, and it hasn’t been fun, but I still believe this is the best thing for me at this stage of my life. And so I keep keeping on. 2. Sometimes you simply need a break. My former job was very stressful, especially toward the end. I had been living in a constant state of stress so severe I had lost 2/3 of my hair. I just realized about a month ago that gee, my hair came back. Because the stress was mostly gone. I had been working through severe…

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Comfort Reads for Troubled Times

Some days it feels like the world is really going downhill. Natural disasters (as I write this, Texas and India are still recovering from massive floods, large chunks of western North America are on fire, and another hurricane is gearing up to hit some vulnerable islands on the way to Florida), politics (’nuff said), bad days on a personal level…and if they all combine, watch out! On days like this, one of the best cures is a comfort read. Simply defined: it’s a book you pick up because you know it will make you feel better. It’s by a favourite and trusted author. You’ve probably read it before (perhaps many times), or else you’ve been looking forward to reading it (maybe it’s a new installment in a series you love). Maybe you discovered it at an impressionable age and love it beyond all reason even though you know it’s not objectively the best book ever. It has stood the test of time…at least for you. What books qualify as comfort reads? Obviously, the answer to that is very personal. Some people might crave works that are light and funny, or sweet and romantic, or even dark, so that they feel less alone. Here are some of mine… The Lord of the Rings Yup, I’m one of those people. *grins* I’ve read the books multiple times. Most of those times were long ago, but I’m slowly rereading them now, and let me tell you, it’s a bit weird revisiting them for…

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