Everything old is new again

Those of you who are very observant probably noticed that this blog wasn’t posted yesterday like it was supposed to be. My bad. I need to put this on my calendar or something because I apparently can’t remember crap. Grump.

But in cheerier news, I finally, finally, finally started the rewrite of Survivor, my psychological horror novel from 2004. It started its life as a carelessly written idea in a file I tucked away somewhere on my hard drive. When I decided to take a class on novel writing, and one of the requirements was a completely new idea, I happened to find it by accident. I worked on it literally for years, sometimes setting it aside for another book, but always came back to it. It fascinated and haunted me. In 2009, I finished the first draft. It was 225,000 words, too damn long but that was okay because I was quickly becoming the queen of the machete.

I told myself for TEN FREAKING YEARS that I’d get to it, I’d get to it, but something was always getting in the way—important stuff, but stuff nonetheless. So when I found myself with a bit of room in my schedule and a writing challenge for this month, I said, “I wonder if I could finally do this. I’ve waited long enough.”

So I did.

In the beginning, it felt so wrong, because I remembered what the original was like. Even though 2004!Erin sucked as a writer, it still felt firmly fixed in stone. And I had to force myself to keep going even with that weird feeling. And then something interesting happened. I started getting ideas on how to improve the story. What if I brought this person in sooner? What if [spoiler duct tape] and [spoiler duct tape] were actually in the middle of [spoiler duct tape] and…wow. The implications of these changes were amazing. Obviously, I had to tear out about half of the plot to make this a standalone —and that was okay because I do a lot of meandering and experimentation with first drafts to discover the story—but one plot thread might end up being part of the sequel. Assuming there is a sequel. 😉

Still not sure about that.

So I’ve been working on it this month. I’m at around 7,000 words. I haven’t been able to work on it every day like I wanted to, due to work and headaches. But I have been thinking about it daily. Figuring out where I’m going next, what this character is really up to, what this one should do instead of what she did in the first draft, etc. I do have a sort-of outline that I am kind of following, but kind of not? It’s basically a road map. I can take some detours, except that I have to keep this fairly contained so it doesn’t grow again.

(I even have a possible cover for it. If I decide to self-publish. I still might try for traditional with this one.)

It’s been really, really fun and really amazing. I loved this story since day one, and I have loved it for ten years. I believe it might be one of the best books I’ve ever written. And that’s 2004!Erin writing. So it can only get better from here.

Why did I decide to rewrite this book instead of revising? It might have been easier, maybe, except that the writing completely sucked eggs. I couldn’t get through Chapter 1. It was terrible. So I made the tough decision to scrap it and start fresh. I already feel like it’s 100% better and I’m only 7,000 words in….just 43,000 more to go!

I am considering keeping the last half because that was written more recently and might be up to my standards. Maybe. We’ll see. Everything is in flux these days.

But man, I’m happy about this. It’s like a jolt of magic to my days, and it’s something to look forward to. I don’t know when I’ll finish this draft because I will have to switch gears after this month (deadlines!) but for now, this is enough. Having it started and thinking about it again and immersing myself back in the world of this book…into the character’s minds…into the magic…

It’s so awesome to be a writer.